hey my diary!it's quite a long time ever since i talked to you..haha! Finally my cts are over!! well it's a good thing that it is over but however..i worry for another which is results!!! i don't want to have my history repeated once more..sigh..but however i have changed my way of handling in my studies. i did not followed the way i did in past..instead i told myself to relax when studying and not to give myself too much pressure.haha! guess i realised i changed a lot. i realised i was no longer the isabelle in the past.Because i have moved on my life!!But not forgetting my friends who been through thick and thin with me!Frohe weinacheten!!ich liebe est!!woohoo!!(merry christmas i love it!!) in german.hahaha!Prost Neujahr!( happy new year)! yeaps! new year is approaching near the corner too!!wow! i really hope the time can really stop here!!Because every year, i really dread the chinese new year..aww..dread the time of going back to Malaysia..but on account of my aunt, i have to go back..16 years..i have to follow this routine..i find myself that my life is always just so meaningless sometimes..i even ask myself why i can't just stand up and really fight for my rights! why?! i always got chickened out upon hearing that my mum made a scene which turn things ugly..well..now i shall divert my topic..hahaha! what i can hope now is i really must work really hard for my dreams to achieve!!i must also wake up from mistakes made!! start anew form a fresh piece of white paper!! ich woll schreibe mit faber in paper!( i want to write with colours!)And i wish to get a pair of boots for myself and new pair of sneakers!!haha!besides, hope to get somemore new clothes..really desparate on that..just feel like dressing up myself nicely..hahaha!well shall end here..as my brain is switching off..

hey my diary! So long ever since i come and talk to you!! I just want to vent out my frustrations inside me!! it was really shiity to get a stupid warning letter for no reason!!! hey i did have special and valid reasons!! why must i get it? that was SO UNFAIR!!! Okies!! enough of that!! just not worth it!! and i'm going to prove that they are in wrong!! Tests coming and what really pounders me are my fears because of semester 1 results..this is worrying beacause i don't want to repeat my downfall and mistakes made..it was already painful enough and i was like reaally feel so bottom of the world..now both my IT and biostatistic project are done!! and done last week!! but pray hard i can score well as it carries certain amount of weightage..in fact, i was happy that for biostat, me and doraline did quite neatly and we put in so much inside..just hope what we can really score well!! may god bless us!! and also hope god will bless me in my tests..really hope so..cos i don't want to suffer anymore..what i can do now..is to really prove everything that can made a difference and climb high!!

heys my diary!! well..just to have things to talk to you..hahaha! this coming week is going to be a hectic week again!! now i really feel like banging my head on the wall!! why? because of my IT SCIENCE PROJECT!!!! why must i missed the lesson for this?? but i can't helped it as i have a terrible gum pain again!! when can this really end?? it is really so irritating as it affects my progress of doing my revision!! Feels like killing me softly and silently..hahaha! sounds so weird..but it is really happening to me now..so far, within these 2 days i managed to studies 85% of my modules plus e learning for 2 of my modules..that is slow...really slow..bella..2 weeks count down to commom tests and 1 week to submission of projects..aiyo..still planning?! sigh..just really must get all things done!! this is really ruining my plans!! Performance for my foreign bodies is coming up in december!!hahaha! quite excited about that but due to aftermath of perfoamnces done on wednesday and gum pain, i missed 2 lessons of my training..hahaa! yes perhaps is too tired as i have to run both sides in latin and fbodz during showtime..hahaha!well, i shall make this short and get back to work..hope that, though slow progress, but still can create good results..

Once again, i'm back!!hahaha! i guess i had been gone missing in action of updating my diary..hahah! Recently, i have just finished my lunhtime performances of foreign bodies and latin!!hahaha!it was really a great experience for me to perform foreign bodies for the very first time in nyp!woohoo! of course,latin as well!! and this time round is much more exciting as it was the new debut of doing cha cha!!wow!! i really like that as i prefer to showcase this type of dance and now is a time to improve on more of my styling and of course techniques!! as it may put into good use for future events coming up real soon!! so stay tune!! Now...get back something serious..projects!!!! this really making my life more hectic once more!!i know i can't avoid this stage of my studies but it is like really piling up!!okies!!ISABELLE OR BELLA!!come on!! you can do this!! you have been through worse than this before!!hahaha! nothing is impossible!!tian xia wu nan shi zhi pa you xin ren!!yes!! get myself drill up!even though time is pressing me hard!!i was also wondering if i should attend my previous school gathering..aww..my friends are having their tests during this period of time and i'm afraid they may not be attending..aww...i feel that no point going if none of my friends are going..hahha! imagine, if you are alone there..it was really weird and you will just be jealous of seeing other people mingling around with their group of friends and you..just standing there alone..admiring with envy?!hahaha! that sounds really...isolated!! hate this feeling!!okies!! shall stop here..and get back to work!!!also looking forward for the christmas concert of fbodz!!yahoo!!

heys!! Well, i suppose it has been ages ever since i had start to update my diary..beacause,i was really busy studying and dancing at the same time as performances coming up for like around 3 weeks? wow..it is really limited for me as i managed to learn my latin cheoreo within just 1 day and even the samba cheoreo..in fact, i really love latin a lot and i hope to perform more than i expected but however, i still have my foreign bodies very 1st performance, so if latin happen to just have 2 items for me, i can understand..but still, i will give my best shot to prove that, even though i have 2 ccas,this will be nothing at all!Now, i realised my life is getting more colourful..i should not always say that i will stay single forever.Now what happen? Last staurday, my very close friend,su, has introduce a guy from her secondary school plus same cca with her to me..at 1st, to me, i thought that, it will just a simple friend's talk to know each other.But it turns out to be matchmaking session!!AWWW!!!This really getting me crazy..But he is really nice after all..and he's in army for now..it also happen that he's the same age as me..hahaha!Surprisingly, we happen to share the same thinking and even the way of talking is the same!! where on earth can this happen?! to know someone who is almost exactly the same as you??Guess what, we chatted from 10pm till...3am in the morning!!ha!!incredible and in school on monday and today, we had messaged from like morning 8am till....12am on mon..wow..but we really had so much to share...haha!well, i shall stop here..as i had to get back to focus!!

Heys! it's been sometime i haven't been talking to you!well, as for now, i have really have lots to share..well, i was really very upset for myself that, i did not do well in semester 1 and really worried for myself...as semester 1 , i only scored 3.2..which is quite bad..and till now, i admit i was really unhappy about it..because i think during sem 1 i stressed myself too much which cause my downfall..and this shall be my lesson learnt..Now, i really looking forward to work with my project partner peiru..haha! you know, actually i really never know i can relate to her quite well as she don't open up to people and in fact,after what she told me about her family yesterday, my heart sank to bottom..And she actually cried in front of me beacuse i sounded her out and she showed her emotions out to me..i was glad that she finally open up to me!!Now semester 2 is really crucial period for me and i jsut don't understand why i'm still can't get over my downfall? okies! forget it ISABELLE!!!OKIES? But,for now, i was happy that sem 2 modules are my favourite modules..all biology and statistics!!haha! but...one thing came into my mind..am i going to really make it?i really ask myself this..i don't want to stay in 3.2 forever..i really want to improve..no i should say i must do very well instead!! beacause i have a dream to be accomplish and i must make it happen!! it was to go around and save people's lives,curing their illnesses or even help the criminals or dead people to solve crimes by relieving their grieverances. I know is hard but now i shall really get serious to work for it in every small segment of my school work!! i really want to thank jordan for giving and sharing his converstaion with me this afternoon! But so strange is when i'm always in need of someone listening to me, he and sometimes zhen nan will always be there to lisiten to me..hahaha! And usually, i always pray to god and even tell him about all my fears and worries inside me.there is one time i really feel that my life was like darkness..and i really hide myself in toliet to cry out but silently..i really don't understand why i just can't reach my expectations?WHY??Why my life just always like that since when i was being brought into this world?? i always can never enjoy what i really want to acheive!! Do you know? sometimes, i really hope to have a companion sit beside and i can lean his or her shoulder to cry...but never mind! this is just impossible for me!!Companion?? who will it be?? i don't know..but never mind without a bf, i still can live happily and brave through storms and thunders!!Guys won't fall in love with me, this kind fo girl!hahaha!Jiayous bella!! Come on!! life isn't that scary and bad!! Better days will come to me!! Now, love realtionships shall say goodbye to me forever!! life to be single is really good!!yahoos!!!!

School time and showcase!!

heys! it's been quite some time i have not updated my diary!!haha!Because till now,i'm still very sick and i'm glad i have just escaped from the deathgod last saturday..My aunt really saved me from him or else i shall bid goodbye to this world already.this sounds like a joke but it is not to me at all.Because,this occured to me at least quite a lot times!but i prayed to god and told him not to take me away as i have not accomplished what i really want to and i have not done well for this round and i need him to give me time to amend my loss and strive hard for my studies in order to achieve my dream to save people's lives at everywhere i go in future.I suppose he agreed to me and let me off for this round.Thank you god!i shall repay your kindness for not taking my life all this time when i'm suffering form severe cough which nearly cause bronchitis.School started and of course,my showcase coming this friday!!wow that's fast!this semester is really a great challenge to me as the modules i'm studying is really a lot brainwork but i love it!!hahaha!beacause it is sort of a recapping work to me as i came across during my colleage east days!!haha!it's time to get back on my feet after my downfall and sickness!it may be hard in future for me but i shall face it with smiles and natural heart feel!Hope god will bless me with this and agree on my terms!Is so nice of jordan who came and asked about my life during holidays!!hahaha! but i always forgot to ask his msn and facebook!!aww...but is okies..i will still get the chance to see him as he is the same course as me!But i like express my thanks to people who concerned about my sickness all along!i was so touched!thanks!now i felt so relaxed as no more stupid problems bothering to me as i'm enjoying my single days!!Of course,don't know why,there is 1 guy today just keep looking at me and his friends asked him to get my no..ha!that is so not trend at all and i just don't bother at all..okies..shall end here!Doing revisons and reports..

10 october!My aunt's birthday!!

Some chinese believe that during someone's birthday,cooking mee-sua is neccessary as it gives prosperity and longetivity to give blessings to the shou xing gong and shou xing po(birthday guy and birthday girl).hahaha!well, today is my 2nd aunt's birthday!!yeaps!what's interesting is today,taiwan is celebrating their national day too!wow!i really enjoyed the mee sua cooked by her today!it's so delicious!!as the mee sua was like a clear distinct needle thread!Even though,it looks simple,but it requires a lot of effort to cook this soupbase!She told me to learn it so that in future,i will be able to cook for everyone.i find it important to learn it as this has to be pass down to generations and i hope this tradition will not just stop here!Sounds really traditional of me!this also made me missed my late grandma who always cook this when i was very young.she took care of me till the time she called home by lord.And,i hope to learn this so as to have memory of her in my heart.She is really a beautiful and a virtuous grandma i ever had!I wished my 2nd aunt a happy birthday and thank you for always taking care of me and my 2 sisters since when we are born ito this world!hahaha!Hope you will always stay strong and determined and last by not least,god bless you and stay happy!!

Showcase and upcoming events!

Hi my diary..these days i have been busy with my pre showcase which is today!!Wow! it's fast!hahaha!but i was kind of worry for myself..why?because,i have been working till yesterday and i did have the time to practise my group's cheoreography..so yesterday i immediately rushed from work and met jamie to help me in the cheoreography.It's really considered a challenge to me as i had managed to learn and memorised all the cheoreography within 1 day only!!hahaha!But i really want to thank jamie for teaching the cheoreo and standardised the steps for us.Not only that,i also want to thank her for understand that i had to work and dance at same time,causing me unable to make it on time everytime.i'm really so selfish!!I feel really so bad yesterday as i kept lagging behind the timing of the music!to me is really a flop!even though,i can execute all the moves!But 1 thing which made me slightly happier is the seniors commented that my group has a creative cheoreo!Now what worries me is school going to start soon in within a week!Because i had to work even more harder in my studies and juggle 2 sides of my dance clubs:latin and foriegn bodies!!Somemore,latin performances are coming up in november!!And today, i was unable to attend the class as i'm sick.Oh man!i hate to miss a single thing but what to do?!my body just won't listen to me!it is showing symptoms of rejection of what i'm intending to do!Anyway,no point whining!what i can do now is try to catch up and improve my mistakes and learn as much as i can!push myself hard but not too extreme.As the exam showcase is coming up on 23rd october!!what's more?it will be held at the dome of my school during our big gathering with the former seniors of fbodz!i hope i can do well this time round and show what i can!This pre show shall serve as a warning to me to know where i stand for the time being..Now next week, i have to choose wisely for 2 genres for my audition of the big fbodz production in 2010!Well, just have to give all my best!shall end here as feeling unwell and doing some science readings..bye!

Unusual incidents

Heys!Well, as usual i went to work for my part time but this time round,i will be working in afternoon shift.hahaha!To me, i realise i'm more active in afternoon shift compared to morning shift.As afternoon shift has more people coming in and out.Besides,there will always have at least 2 to 3 of my colleagues will be chatting with me.haha!I really enjoyed talking to them!But there is are at least 2 special incident happened today.One is a sad incident and the other is a blessing disguise incident.haha! Now, i shall add more details for that.The first incident was a limping father hitting his daughter in front of everyone at the hotel lobby.Frankly,i really blamed myself for opening the door to allow the father to stepped forward and hit his own daughter.I saw him dashing out and just gave his daughter a hard smack on her head.And you know, her daughter was like helping him to carry a bulky bag and this is what he treated her?Ridiculous!I was really shocked and i really want to step forward and protect her at that time but my supervisor was there and i was not allowed to leave my work area without special permission.AWWW~!I kept looking out,just to assured if the girl was alright or not.The girl was not at all.She was crying her eyes out and worse,she got scoldings from her mother!That is horrible!It really irks me when a parent just don't understand his children!As, this family,stepped in the hotel,i gave a light pat on the little boy's shoulder to assured him and signalled him to comfort his sister.The boy looked at me pitifully and it pains my heart..Well,proceed on to the next one,this incident is about a korean businessman dropped his handphone in one of the taxi.when i opened the door for him,he searched his pockets frantically..so i asked him if he need any assistance.he told me he dropped his something so i refered him to deniza(my colleague cum friend).she brought him to the bellcounter and i saw her calling.A few minutes later,Deniza came and told me the cabbie found his phone and was on his way to returned it.Thank goodness! the phone was found! My bellecaptain,liza was so elated!hahaha!And it was really a blessing in disguise!haha!Today, deniza switched her shift with me.so i was happy that i can go home early by 8pm!!wohoo!As deniza can't amke it for the 12 pm shift.yeaps!Well, it's getting late and i need to wake up slightly early tommorrow!so shall end here!Guten morgen!

Lethargic!!

Hi! Here comes a new update of my diary! Today is quite a tiring day for me as there were two weddings held at my workplace.Not only that, there were many check ins and check outs from the guests.hahaha!And i had to helped my collegues to pull the bulkiy luagguages.But i enjoyed as my guy colleagues bought me roti prata and thosai for my lunch!I would really want to express my gratitude to them! so sweet of them!hahaha!Then, i also met a very sweet and cute little girl who came in front of me and gave a small handshake!her hand was really small!Just like when i was around her age like 3 to 4 years old.haha!Oh! she is really so sweet!hahaha! she really made me fall in love with her!hahaha! Suddenly, i even wished that i could have such a cute and sweet child just like her!What am i dreaming?hahaha!That is so not like me!But i can't deny i really love kids a lot! they really bring joy to everyone even though they can be quite a nuiscance at times!hahaha!Well, afterall, to day was really tiring that when having my short break,i sat down and streteched my legs till i dozed off on my legs!!It's not the first time but..i'm working!!How can i sleep during work?ISABELLE!!hahaha!Luckily, no one caught me doing this!Meanwhile,when i went back and continued working,my colleague cel(she is from phillipines and she is really beautiful) told me that she wanted to get pregnant when she happened to saw the kids playing ctaching.hahaha!Then she asked me,when you going to get yourself a bf?i was like nonchalant.because, to me this topic is really an abstract topic and i had no answer to this.I can aswer so many things except this.hahaha!That is so funny and ironic! Okies! shall end here due to my tiredness..yeaps!more updates!

3rd october 2009

hey! Guess why i named it this way? Because today there are a lot people are celebrating their birthday.haha! well, Today,khai met me at pasir ris to go to Aki's birthday party.hahaha!Pasir ris! The palce where i lived for around 19 years!My Home!I got so emotional when i told this to khai!She was laughing at me and she told me:"yes! isabelle! you are home dear!"haha!And both us really admired the blind singer!Wow! he sang so well! of course1 we donated quite a lot money to him!i was really happy i had did a good deed!Aki's party turned out to be so hilarious!Because,we nearly had neartattack due to the bursting of ballons!hahaha! There is one is so funny! he covered his ears and so scared that he don't even dare to move a single steps!wahahahaha!Aki was laughing at him and we joined in the laughter with her!She took 1 and half hours to doll up herself in the toliet.Meanwhile,we watched singapore idol encore to kill time.then Zulfar started to talk about Korean Bands and singers.hahaha!That was a great topic because we love to lsiten to korean songs! we even talked about one of the band,super junior.hahaha! The "sorry,sorry" song was so heated up due their significant dance moves.Khai and i felt so bad because we did not get the chance to cut aki's bithday cake!her birthday cake is really very appealing!it is shape of key!As she just turned 21 and the key represents freedom.yeaps!Then khai and me went home by train and we shared a lot about our school life and even scandals by our friends including me,myself!hahah! seems that i left a lot memories in college east!hahaha!But that time, how i wihed i can really send her home to jurong east station but she don't allowed as she knew i had work tommorrow morning.So she gave a tight hug and i felt like tearing..Because, i really don't know when i will have the time to meet her again as she has portfolio to complete for her admission to laselle next year.Love you loads Khai!Hope to see you again my dearest capricon and january sister!Shall end here!

Profound

Heys! Today is really quite tiring for me as everyone in foreign bodies are preparing for the upcoming 2nd dance exam!Oh my! counting down to this day is only left around 1 week!Time flies!But glad that we have made a great progress on our dance steps even though we haven't complete our cheoreography..haha!Take it naturally! it will work out!I believe and i hope to capture everything well because i have to work and dance at same time..and i'm trying to commit as much as i could!Now,besides working hard for my future university,also for the dance courses(hip hop,latin) which i want and being encouraged by my latin seniors.And..of course the shoes for hip hop!My shoes are going to say goosbye to me anytime..aww!sad!it has being with me for at least 4 to 5 years!After my dance cheoreo,on my way out from school,i met vincent(my latin dancemate) with his friends.So we went home together as he lived at sengkang too.haha!While waiting for the bus,we had an interesting conversion and suddenly,he talked about relationships.He told me a lot people don't understand what is true meaning of love.i agreed with him because he told me a lot cules are in love with motives.That is so depressing when i heard that.He told me that a true love is when each party love unconditionally,without any ulteriror motives.This really enlightened me even though it is just a simple and short sentence.the we sat on the bus watching the chef's show on channel 8.hahaha! we even discussed on who is the winner of the chef contest!And happen we predicted correctly!hahaha!Then he even advised me how to handle my studies in a correct way and he even pointed out what goes wrong with ways of studying.I learnt a lot and realised i was too rush!It's time i should make a change!i shall not repeat my mstakes again and let history repeat!I really thank him a lot for telling me so many things! well, i shall end here! beacause i'm going to figure out the steps for my exam and study some science notes to prepare for 2nd semester!

Children's day!!

Hey diary! today is children's day and it is my sister valerie and my dance partner cum companinion Elenor's(suhailah) birthday!i missed my su so much actually.because, she reminded me the times when we got to performed and dance together.we first met in dance elective and she was really a great dancer in latin! then that is where i got to know her latin guy partner, sky.hahaha! I remembered after sometime we got along well in dance,she told me that sky has a crush on me..when i partner with him..hahaha!my reaction was nonchalant.hahhaa!As sky confided to her when she asked him why he kept looking at me..hahah!But monday, i really enjoyed the locking class conducted by my seniors!hahaha!but i really admire my senior daphane and jin!hahaha! they are really good! how i wished i can attained to be at their level! but i will work hard!besides, at my workplace at grand hyatt, there is this particular guy looked at me till his girlfriend hit his head real hard!hahaha!Not only that, there is guy who is around the same age as me,working as a waiter for part-time,also like this guy!there's one time when he's waiting for the customer to come and collect mooncakes,i realised his eyes was looking at my direction straightly!at first, i just gave him a smile and opened the door.but then,he just kept looking until my boss called him till he responded!hahaha! oh please! what's so nice looking at?i'm not that attractive!i'm just an ordianry girl!Holidays are ending soon!but i learnt to accept it and of course,can't wait to go back to school and work very hard for this coming semester to amend my lousy results for the first round!hahaha!Shall take it naturally and calm but not like last time being such a nervous wreck!hahaha!Now, i really feeling unwell and i will just go for my preparation for junior exam and skipped the exact class.But i hope my sister val will really scored well in her o levels to do my aunt proud!but at my workplace, everytime i had to entertain he questions of when am i getting a bf?hahah!Please don't ever ask this! i am not interested at this at all!And they even introduced some guys to me!hahaha! Thanks a lot! i do appreciate but i just want to be happy just like now!hahaha!Okies shall end here!

Reflection and goals

Hey my diary..it has been ages since i ahve updated you..haha!As for now, i have been busy working and dancing at the same time.Why must i work now?Simple reasons are aiming hard to go to correspondent overseas university in future after my 3 years in nyp..hahaha! that was too early to said..is like a chinese saying,"ba zi hai mei yi pie,qi shi shuo de tai zao le!"haha! But i will make it possible at all cost!! I don't mind sacrificing my tv time,my play time..hahaha! for next semester i'm not going to repeat my mistakes of being overstressed up which actually screwed up my results this time round..even people said i scored quite okay but to me is A NO NO!oh my..that is the most lousiest results i ever got..i came in with score of 3.8 plus..yet now is really dropped badly..because of so many bs in my modules..strangely is my answers in my papers are actually is an a grade..how come the results is os different from what i know? Aiya! forget it! it's over!! For now,is time for me to stand up and buck up!!No more stupid distractions!! Now i'm free!Yahoo! Hopefully now, i really hope to study medicine to save lives!! this is a very big dream,i know..but i'm going to make it possible! My aunt said that i'm not going to make it but i will prove it!! I will! you shall see,my aunt! Now learning latin rumhba is really hard..because you feel yourself being in love..i just can't get this feeling..it's so hard..hahaha! but i will try! Yes i'm going to learn paso doble tommorrow! the difficult section in latin!!today is really tiring because i have learn the new down rythm and just can't really get it perfectly right!! sad!!okies shall update more!!

Job

Hi! today, i went out for second interview of my part-time job..hahaha! i can work now!! Well, i'm really happy is because i can finally earn some allowance for myself and slowly pay back for school fees in installments.This is to help to lessen my father and aunt's burdens.Nowadays, times are really bad and i counted myself fortunate to have a really good friend help me to get a job through her introduction.thanks Jalini!!I was really gratful too!Also, i recieved a message from one of my close friend,ying xin(my ite school mate) whom gave me advices.She shared her past experiences to me and deep inside me, i realised i was thinking too much and making my life more miserable than ever!! Oh no! Snap it out!! Get back to life Isabelle!! I should not bear this grudge anymore but to tell myself to start anew and work more harder and smarter than ever!!Yes! It should be in this way!!Let go is the best medicine!To me, human relationship tends to be more complicated especially in love relationships.It is quite tiring to give what i have to people who doesn't seem to appreciate but instead,the other party is taking granted of it..well,fine, It is good to forgive and forget.hahaha!Actually,i did not really been through this before!hahaha!Sometimes, thinking back, i was wondering if people get closer to someone,is it just to get what they want to attain and gaining their own benefits?hmm...it is complicated but i prefer life in simplicity..After all,what i can say is GET ALIVE!!Move on!! It is useless to think of these hypocrites!!hahaha!Shun away unhappy memories and welcome the awaiting plans ahead for us!!Well, i shall end here! bye!

"'Events''

Hi! Is quite sometime ever since i updated my diary!Because i was really busy with my nephew's matters...what's now? he's contacted with chickenpox!!! Oh my! that really scares me!! My first reaction is:"what can i do? i was never being contacted by this diease!! I can't get it!CAN'T1!!" i have my hip hop exam, upcoming reharsals,part-time job!!It is really a NO-NO to me!! But well, one thing my aunt is right, she told me to take it naturally,don't get so upright about it..it will make things worse and eventually screw up. So come thinking back,i should not worry so much and unduly..just..take it in stride.i rememberd when i was primary 3,i sat with a girl who contacted chickenpox(she just recovered).hahaha! That was ages ago already. Meanwhile, all these days, i was practising hard my latin...my legs and my waist are so aching and pain!! but i was happy that i corrected my mistakes!!woohoo!! Hi-five man ISABELLE!! still, i was suffering insomia,,worried my studies results,,i know is over but i really can't help me at all..i really don't want to score the worse and not up to my expectations! Now, i was sharpening my techinques for my latin and hopefully can do as well as my seniors then find a suitable partner who can relate with me..hahaha!For the time being, i hope my nephew can recover as soon as possible..poor boy, so young and has to suffer so much..and i can't really help much as i don't know how...i feel so bad about it..and i really hope i can start work as soon as possible to earn some allowance and lessen my father and my aunt's burdens..and scrimp for my plan to study overseas..hahaha! I was inspire by my family doctor as he encouraged me to pursue my studies at overseas to get a doctrate..i know is too early to judge and say but i'm going to work for it!!plus my dance too,latin and hip hop!! Be the recognised and good dancer!! Better than my sister,Gladys!! I hate to be a second fiddle!! I don't want to live under her shadow!! i want to create my own name!! but i will prove itin this area and my studies!! Is hard but i'm going to work for it and strive!!i'm also not going to care how people look at me.If they are not happy or critisized me, i will just do it!! but some critisims, i will take it and work on it! okies, i shall end here! tata!

A day to visit....

Hi! Today finally can see jennifer!!woohoo!So i went to her house to visit her! When i saw her just now,i was relieved that she looked better and well.But her face was a bit swollen..then i gave her some gifts to her and her mum told me not to spend so much..haha! In fact, i was really happy to see her because i had 4 months did not see her! The last time when i saw her is when the time before my school started. Then we shared a lot about our school times, what we have gone through and attachemnt times.. so on..hahah!In fact, we shared a lot and i even found out that her brother was attached already!haha! Time really flies..and so fast, she was graduating soon from her school..she even showed me her needle wounds on her hands and legs. Suddenly, i felt that she was really strong because she told me:"i just endure the pain". I was thinking, what if i am at her position, will i be that strong? Well, i don't think so. because she been through so much and what i can do is really pray that she will get well soon and be healthy as before..really hope god may bless her!She told me that her life was really boring as all she did was eat, sleep and what irks her is medicines!!She was very tired of having this medicines everyday and it is really hard on her..This makes me realise that,life is really fragile and unpredictable and therefore, i really start to get worry because i found out that i did not fufil much in my life..and i was really a failure..sigh..and now i really hope i can join the swagg workshop for overseas hip hop to expose myself and learn as much as possible for my future!Besides, i really want to join the shawn n Gladys danceworld to learn my basic techniques for purpose to learn more new things and joining competitions which is always my dream!i wonder if it will come true or not..but i hope so! i also hope my studies turn out to be a good one and hope to score well and go overseas to study medical course to save people! It is really great to share my love to people who needs more than me!!shall stop here!more updates!

Realise

Hi!! Today is actually quite a hectic day for me!! Especially in the morning.Because, my nephew is sick!oh my, after my niece,it's his turn!It is like a cycle to me.so my family has to rush him to the clinic to see the doctor..and his fever was unable to subside and it is very worrying.And, my job interview was indeed fine as i just submitted my application,wait for the call to ask me to go fro work!! Yes!! finally can earn some money!! Or else i'm really broke!! I really in need of money for driving lesson and dancing too!! Because i really hope that, i can join the competitions for latin!! Finding a partner is really tough!!hahaha! But never mind, i shall improve my body expressions and facial too!Besides, techiniques is equally important too!! Aha! That part i must put extra effort in this and showtime!!Of course, weight is also the most important element and i'm trying hard to maintain and even attempt to lose.In fact,i had lost 2kg!! Yahoo!! Yes, i know is bad for me but i don't mind at all! Then,i felt much better after confiding to my very close friend (a.k.a my sister). we shared a lot and she gave me a lot advices and this made me realised that,letting it go shall be the bset medicine. And she sent me many good phrases from bible and it is really meaningful...therefore, i always pray to god and told him about how i feel and my worries to him.Well, i also hope god may bless my family and my friends who loves me and treasure me!!Now, i was really looking forward to meet my friends during this holidays and my part-time job!!Also, my dancing!!Today, i realised that looking out for each other is really important and i had learnt that we must treasure for what we have.Losing may not be a bad thing but what i had lost is actually can a gain to me! i gained my aunt's concern to me, my friends' around me!! So....single isn't a bad thing!! In fact, i'm always single!!Is just that the guys just come and go...Now, affinity is not important to me and i shall just wait and see! Shall stop here!Tata!

Home sweet home

Hi! my diary,do you know what i dream of last night which leads me when my sister wake me up? Ha!I dreamt of myself crying buckets of tears in front of my aunt,keep saying that,i'm not going to do well in my exams!!Of course, my aunt did feel frustarted and told me off. okay, enough of this!Just try not to imagine so much,Isabelle!! But why i can't just let go?? Why?? Sigh...Just because i hate to fail again?!Don't wanna to be a laughing stock?? Yes!! I admit that i'm like that!! I don't want to let people around me down!! I don't want to be the lousiest and hate to lose!! Hate to be tortise!!haha! Anyway, my sister,Gladys was having her last paper today! Just wish her luck because she has not eating well for this past one week..as she was suffering from stress..i do understand how she feel because i was once in her shoes and i'm even worse! Not only, i don't really eat much, i even lost around 4kg! As i know,i was actually at the brink of underweight when my doctor told me to watch out for my body...yeaps!As for now,my niece was having high fever due to sore throat..hope she really get well soon!! As this one month, she was already being sick for at least quite a lot times..poor sherrianne,my niece..please really get well!!Well, till now, i can't really sleep well and perhaps suffering from insomia..but keep waking up early as usual to accompany my aunt to the doctor for her screening..woohoo! now i can't wait to start dancing for foriegn bodies!!lol! I missed my hip hop training as i must really train hard to be like my seniors to join competitions and be the best dancers!!haha!Sounds really ambitious but i'm going to work on my both areas,dance and my studies!! My life line!! Tommorrow is my part time job interview!! Hope i do well and so happy i can earn some pocket money!!yahoo!okies, i shall stop here and update more!Auf wiedersehn!(goodbye in german)

Happy teacher's day!!

Today is teacher's day!! First i would like to wish my teachers(plus my aunt too!) a happy teachers'day!!hahahaha!Talk about that, i really missed life in college east...why do i say so?Hmm...because, that is the place where i really found my goals and my directions!yeaps!lol..In fact, actually, i missed what i had during my days spent there..i missed the times when doing experiements with my friends,having fun with them and times when they would sound me out and giving me advices when i'm at lost..even though,initially, i really resent of going to this school as i was thinking:Isabelle!!You used to scoring decently well in class!Somemore is from express class!!How come must ended up coming to this school?!It's so embarrassing!!It sounds really offending but that was my real thoughts before stepping into this school..haha! During these 2years, i really enjoyed the process in learning and also found my fear to overcome my weakest point in life which is maths!!Now, i always tell myself that i must really solve all different kinds of questions even though they are really hard!Besides, during these past 2years, actually a lot of rumors and scandals had happened to me before..lol!To this particular person dedicated, i really thank him for helping me so much and knowing him at first place really gives me pleasant experiences..but can we still be good friends?i'm really sorry because i hope u can know me more deeper than this...Hope u can sore higher and do well in your studies and forget about me, this unfaithful and unloyal girl u meet before..well, i shall stop here!haha!Hope life will be better for me and everyone!

My first entry of diary

Hi! this is my first entry of my diary! Holidays are here! After all is time for me to relax and rest.However, i don't understand i can't really sleep well and my mind just can't stop thinking of my results...I keep giving myself a lot expectations to strive for what i want as i know that i went up to path which is longer than other people and failed too many times in the past.To be very honest, I was really very upset to found out that my best friend,jen just got cancer.I told myself that i will not cry when i know it.Because i suppose she won't want to see me get emotional about her condition.But i believe strongly that she will get well soon! May god really watch over and bless her! Recently, my aunt jus got out from the hospital.And now after my exams, i spend most of the time to take care fo her..although on surface, i don't show my feelings that i was worried for her but in fact, i did feel that inside my heart...Because i really love her as my aunt soa as my mum!!For now,My dancing and studies shall be my 1st pirority in my life!! As for my affinity, perhaps i really want to take some time to find someone who will share what i told him,understands and really be at my side when i'm really down and have a shoulder to cry on..i know i don't cry but there are times when i do feel emotional and in need of someone to confide to and understand what i mean to them in their heart.yeaps!hahah! Well,i shall forget about this imagination i had inside me.Because it is not possible to me at all.i don't believe that there is true love in life but i believe in kinship,friendship and God.At first, i thought that this guy from sp, knows me well when we know each other for 2years but in fact he don't.Everything has to be spell out to him and i shall put an end to it..as i know i'm sorry but i ahve to.Maybe is good to be good friends than procceed on to relationships.Now i shall pursue my dreams because i really want to go overseas to study in future and hopefully can bring my aunt along too!hahah! But that won't take long which i really hope so!hahah! Well okies...is quite late already..so good night my diary! More updates shall put on!!