Reflection and goals

Hey my diary..it has been ages since i ahve updated you..haha!As for now, i have been busy working and dancing at the same time.Why must i work now?Simple reasons are aiming hard to go to correspondent overseas university in future after my 3 years in nyp..hahaha! that was too early to said..is like a chinese saying,"ba zi hai mei yi pie,qi shi shuo de tai zao le!"haha! But i will make it possible at all cost!! I don't mind sacrificing my tv time,my play time..hahaha! for next semester i'm not going to repeat my mistakes of being overstressed up which actually screwed up my results this time round..even people said i scored quite okay but to me is A NO NO!oh my..that is the most lousiest results i ever got..i came in with score of 3.8 plus..yet now is really dropped badly..because of so many bs in my modules..strangely is my answers in my papers are actually is an a grade..how come the results is os different from what i know? Aiya! forget it! it's over!! For now,is time for me to stand up and buck up!!No more stupid distractions!! Now i'm free!Yahoo! Hopefully now, i really hope to study medicine to save lives!! this is a very big dream,i know..but i'm going to make it possible! My aunt said that i'm not going to make it but i will prove it!! I will! you shall see,my aunt! Now learning latin rumhba is really hard..because you feel yourself being in love..i just can't get this feeling..it's so hard..hahaha! but i will try! Yes i'm going to learn paso doble tommorrow! the difficult section in latin!!today is really tiring because i have learn the new down rythm and just can't really get it perfectly right!! sad!!okies shall update more!!

Job

Hi! today, i went out for second interview of my part-time job..hahaha! i can work now!! Well, i'm really happy is because i can finally earn some allowance for myself and slowly pay back for school fees in installments.This is to help to lessen my father and aunt's burdens.Nowadays, times are really bad and i counted myself fortunate to have a really good friend help me to get a job through her introduction.thanks Jalini!!I was really gratful too!Also, i recieved a message from one of my close friend,ying xin(my ite school mate) whom gave me advices.She shared her past experiences to me and deep inside me, i realised i was thinking too much and making my life more miserable than ever!! Oh no! Snap it out!! Get back to life Isabelle!! I should not bear this grudge anymore but to tell myself to start anew and work more harder and smarter than ever!!Yes! It should be in this way!!Let go is the best medicine!To me, human relationship tends to be more complicated especially in love relationships.It is quite tiring to give what i have to people who doesn't seem to appreciate but instead,the other party is taking granted of it..well,fine, It is good to forgive and forget.hahaha!Actually,i did not really been through this before!hahaha!Sometimes, thinking back, i was wondering if people get closer to someone,is it just to get what they want to attain and gaining their own benefits?hmm...it is complicated but i prefer life in simplicity..After all,what i can say is GET ALIVE!!Move on!! It is useless to think of these hypocrites!!hahaha!Shun away unhappy memories and welcome the awaiting plans ahead for us!!Well, i shall end here! bye!

"'Events''

Hi! Is quite sometime ever since i updated my diary!Because i was really busy with my nephew's matters...what's now? he's contacted with chickenpox!!! Oh my! that really scares me!! My first reaction is:"what can i do? i was never being contacted by this diease!! I can't get it!CAN'T1!!" i have my hip hop exam, upcoming reharsals,part-time job!!It is really a NO-NO to me!! But well, one thing my aunt is right, she told me to take it naturally,don't get so upright about it..it will make things worse and eventually screw up. So come thinking back,i should not worry so much and unduly..just..take it in stride.i rememberd when i was primary 3,i sat with a girl who contacted chickenpox(she just recovered).hahaha! That was ages ago already. Meanwhile, all these days, i was practising hard my latin...my legs and my waist are so aching and pain!! but i was happy that i corrected my mistakes!!woohoo!! Hi-five man ISABELLE!! still, i was suffering insomia,,worried my studies results,,i know is over but i really can't help me at all..i really don't want to score the worse and not up to my expectations! Now, i was sharpening my techinques for my latin and hopefully can do as well as my seniors then find a suitable partner who can relate with me..hahaha!For the time being, i hope my nephew can recover as soon as possible..poor boy, so young and has to suffer so much..and i can't really help much as i don't know how...i feel so bad about it..and i really hope i can start work as soon as possible to earn some allowance and lessen my father and my aunt's burdens..and scrimp for my plan to study overseas..hahaha! I was inspire by my family doctor as he encouraged me to pursue my studies at overseas to get a doctrate..i know is too early to judge and say but i'm going to work for it!!plus my dance too,latin and hip hop!! Be the recognised and good dancer!! Better than my sister,Gladys!! I hate to be a second fiddle!! I don't want to live under her shadow!! i want to create my own name!! but i will prove itin this area and my studies!! Is hard but i'm going to work for it and strive!!i'm also not going to care how people look at me.If they are not happy or critisized me, i will just do it!! but some critisims, i will take it and work on it! okies, i shall end here! tata!

A day to visit....

Hi! Today finally can see jennifer!!woohoo!So i went to her house to visit her! When i saw her just now,i was relieved that she looked better and well.But her face was a bit swollen..then i gave her some gifts to her and her mum told me not to spend so much..haha! In fact, i was really happy to see her because i had 4 months did not see her! The last time when i saw her is when the time before my school started. Then we shared a lot about our school times, what we have gone through and attachemnt times.. so on..hahah!In fact, we shared a lot and i even found out that her brother was attached already!haha! Time really flies..and so fast, she was graduating soon from her school..she even showed me her needle wounds on her hands and legs. Suddenly, i felt that she was really strong because she told me:"i just endure the pain". I was thinking, what if i am at her position, will i be that strong? Well, i don't think so. because she been through so much and what i can do is really pray that she will get well soon and be healthy as before..really hope god may bless her!She told me that her life was really boring as all she did was eat, sleep and what irks her is medicines!!She was very tired of having this medicines everyday and it is really hard on her..This makes me realise that,life is really fragile and unpredictable and therefore, i really start to get worry because i found out that i did not fufil much in my life..and i was really a failure..sigh..and now i really hope i can join the swagg workshop for overseas hip hop to expose myself and learn as much as possible for my future!Besides, i really want to join the shawn n Gladys danceworld to learn my basic techniques for purpose to learn more new things and joining competitions which is always my dream!i wonder if it will come true or not..but i hope so! i also hope my studies turn out to be a good one and hope to score well and go overseas to study medical course to save people! It is really great to share my love to people who needs more than me!!shall stop here!more updates!

Realise

Hi!! Today is actually quite a hectic day for me!! Especially in the morning.Because, my nephew is sick!oh my, after my niece,it's his turn!It is like a cycle to me.so my family has to rush him to the clinic to see the doctor..and his fever was unable to subside and it is very worrying.And, my job interview was indeed fine as i just submitted my application,wait for the call to ask me to go fro work!! Yes!! finally can earn some money!! Or else i'm really broke!! I really in need of money for driving lesson and dancing too!! Because i really hope that, i can join the competitions for latin!! Finding a partner is really tough!!hahaha! But never mind, i shall improve my body expressions and facial too!Besides, techiniques is equally important too!! Aha! That part i must put extra effort in this and showtime!!Of course, weight is also the most important element and i'm trying hard to maintain and even attempt to lose.In fact,i had lost 2kg!! Yahoo!! Yes, i know is bad for me but i don't mind at all! Then,i felt much better after confiding to my very close friend (a.k.a my sister). we shared a lot and she gave me a lot advices and this made me realised that,letting it go shall be the bset medicine. And she sent me many good phrases from bible and it is really meaningful...therefore, i always pray to god and told him about how i feel and my worries to him.Well, i also hope god may bless my family and my friends who loves me and treasure me!!Now, i was really looking forward to meet my friends during this holidays and my part-time job!!Also, my dancing!!Today, i realised that looking out for each other is really important and i had learnt that we must treasure for what we have.Losing may not be a bad thing but what i had lost is actually can a gain to me! i gained my aunt's concern to me, my friends' around me!! So....single isn't a bad thing!! In fact, i'm always single!!Is just that the guys just come and go...Now, affinity is not important to me and i shall just wait and see! Shall stop here!Tata!

Home sweet home

Hi! my diary,do you know what i dream of last night which leads me when my sister wake me up? Ha!I dreamt of myself crying buckets of tears in front of my aunt,keep saying that,i'm not going to do well in my exams!!Of course, my aunt did feel frustarted and told me off. okay, enough of this!Just try not to imagine so much,Isabelle!! But why i can't just let go?? Why?? Sigh...Just because i hate to fail again?!Don't wanna to be a laughing stock?? Yes!! I admit that i'm like that!! I don't want to let people around me down!! I don't want to be the lousiest and hate to lose!! Hate to be tortise!!haha! Anyway, my sister,Gladys was having her last paper today! Just wish her luck because she has not eating well for this past one week..as she was suffering from stress..i do understand how she feel because i was once in her shoes and i'm even worse! Not only, i don't really eat much, i even lost around 4kg! As i know,i was actually at the brink of underweight when my doctor told me to watch out for my body...yeaps!As for now,my niece was having high fever due to sore throat..hope she really get well soon!! As this one month, she was already being sick for at least quite a lot times..poor sherrianne,my niece..please really get well!!Well, till now, i can't really sleep well and perhaps suffering from insomia..but keep waking up early as usual to accompany my aunt to the doctor for her screening..woohoo! now i can't wait to start dancing for foriegn bodies!!lol! I missed my hip hop training as i must really train hard to be like my seniors to join competitions and be the best dancers!!haha!Sounds really ambitious but i'm going to work on my both areas,dance and my studies!! My life line!! Tommorrow is my part time job interview!! Hope i do well and so happy i can earn some pocket money!!yahoo!okies, i shall stop here and update more!Auf wiedersehn!(goodbye in german)

Happy teacher's day!!

Today is teacher's day!! First i would like to wish my teachers(plus my aunt too!) a happy teachers'day!!hahahaha!Talk about that, i really missed life in college east...why do i say so?Hmm...because, that is the place where i really found my goals and my directions!yeaps!lol..In fact, actually, i missed what i had during my days spent there..i missed the times when doing experiements with my friends,having fun with them and times when they would sound me out and giving me advices when i'm at lost..even though,initially, i really resent of going to this school as i was thinking:Isabelle!!You used to scoring decently well in class!Somemore is from express class!!How come must ended up coming to this school?!It's so embarrassing!!It sounds really offending but that was my real thoughts before stepping into this school..haha! During these 2years, i really enjoyed the process in learning and also found my fear to overcome my weakest point in life which is maths!!Now, i always tell myself that i must really solve all different kinds of questions even though they are really hard!Besides, during these past 2years, actually a lot of rumors and scandals had happened to me before..lol!To this particular person dedicated, i really thank him for helping me so much and knowing him at first place really gives me pleasant experiences..but can we still be good friends?i'm really sorry because i hope u can know me more deeper than this...Hope u can sore higher and do well in your studies and forget about me, this unfaithful and unloyal girl u meet before..well, i shall stop here!haha!Hope life will be better for me and everyone!

My first entry of diary

Hi! this is my first entry of my diary! Holidays are here! After all is time for me to relax and rest.However, i don't understand i can't really sleep well and my mind just can't stop thinking of my results...I keep giving myself a lot expectations to strive for what i want as i know that i went up to path which is longer than other people and failed too many times in the past.To be very honest, I was really very upset to found out that my best friend,jen just got cancer.I told myself that i will not cry when i know it.Because i suppose she won't want to see me get emotional about her condition.But i believe strongly that she will get well soon! May god really watch over and bless her! Recently, my aunt jus got out from the hospital.And now after my exams, i spend most of the time to take care fo her..although on surface, i don't show my feelings that i was worried for her but in fact, i did feel that inside my heart...Because i really love her as my aunt soa as my mum!!For now,My dancing and studies shall be my 1st pirority in my life!! As for my affinity, perhaps i really want to take some time to find someone who will share what i told him,understands and really be at my side when i'm really down and have a shoulder to cry on..i know i don't cry but there are times when i do feel emotional and in need of someone to confide to and understand what i mean to them in their heart.yeaps!hahah! Well,i shall forget about this imagination i had inside me.Because it is not possible to me at all.i don't believe that there is true love in life but i believe in kinship,friendship and God.At first, i thought that this guy from sp, knows me well when we know each other for 2years but in fact he don't.Everything has to be spell out to him and i shall put an end to it..as i know i'm sorry but i ahve to.Maybe is good to be good friends than procceed on to relationships.Now i shall pursue my dreams because i really want to go overseas to study in future and hopefully can bring my aunt along too!hahah! But that won't take long which i really hope so!hahah! Well okies...is quite late already..so good night my diary! More updates shall put on!!