updates

it's time for my updates again!firstly, i was very happy to meet my sis,patricia and soulmate,yi qing!yeahs!we went to bugis for shopping around and i found a shop which sells a reasonable price sneakers!oh my, talk about that, my heart was really aching when this has reminded me that i bought a 135 dollars sneakers from leftfoot!that was so expensive!!ouch ouch!mysalary!!that was what i whined to both of them as the sneakers i saw yesterday were much far cheaper than the one i bought!hence, i told myself that once i got my salary, i shall use small amount of money to buy this sneakers!and the clothes shop which was quite cheap too!yi qing suggested me to ask her out again once my salary was deposit into my account for buying these things i told her.as for now, i'm really very busy in my dance.but my loves for locking was getting more and more!what i had planned was to earn more money and register at o school to learn locking and go for competitions hopefully.But one thing was,what i have decided was to stopmy latin for quite some time in my cca.to concetrate and work super hard in my academics.because i must use this time to push my gpa up to 3.5 above!it maybe hard but i told myself that i chose a more tougher and harder route so i can't turn back anymore.i shall move on for greater heights.then, i will progress my latin in shawn and gladys danceworld.in fact, i may feel happy once i leave this cca as the people over there are making me feel humilated.they made me feel left out by not giving me any important dances for me to take part even though they know i can show it out.my friend,leela supported me to continue dancing latin outside and go on for greater heights and find the best partner to go for competitions.Hopefully, i can do well in my studies,locking and in foriegn bodies.kelly,my fb friend, told me that she loves my style for dancing and strangely was she said i always stand out from the others.haha!so many of my friends also said that!they said it was really a good thing that a dancer can standout form the crowd.that was a bad point as in team work i suffered a lot.unique me!Now, i shall put in all my best in everything i'm going to do and face!i hope god will also bless me by giving me strength and hopes pin to me.not only, also hope he bless me with wisdom too and judgment.hereby you hear my prayers ,god.amen!

updates

time for me to update.well, now i was feeling really upset with myself..because this time round my results didn't really imrpove..it's all bs..really nonsense!i really hate that..and my gpa was really lousy once more..it was disappointing..perhaps i think god was punishing me.as i was aim too much and he thinks i'm greedy.Hence, to prevent that to happen to me, i shall not always lose temper when things can't work well and being so "disrespectful".i felt so guilty about this.I never did what i have promised to my aunt.She was not disappointed but she told me 1 thing.she advised me to give up my latin and concentrate more on my studies and foriegn bodies.came thinking that, although i was struggling inside me but i feel that maybe i shall not be too involved in my ballroom anymore.Because firstly, i have no partner and secondly,my seniors was ostrasizing me as they feel that i was a traitor as i was a fb member so most of the performances, they always try to cut my part and in fact what i always do was to do very well and show out all my ability.that was to shut their trap and prove them totally wrong.Now, hopefully i can find a partner soon.but studies comes first.i'm going to fully make use well my remaining 2 yrs to climb up fast and real high.i'm not going to let the other people to step on my head.i'm going to do what i have sweared to promise my aunt and going to overseas for my attachment.

updates

today,i heard of one story and felt quite sad and confused at same time.it begins in ths way: a girl and a guy,known for each other since in their secondary school life.this guy was always being with her no matter what happened to her,be it having other relationships problems,family problems and so on..when she was feeling really upset, he would generously lent her a shoulder to cry on.hence, as time goes by,this girl has developed feelings towards to this guy. but,she could not expressed and confessed to him.because, if she told him about this,their friendship may jepardised.all along, this girl kept it in her heart till now.but she felt really painful as she has suppressed her feelings for a very long time and maybe it shall always remained as a secret..that really gave me so much thoughts. why can't they be together?why can't a girl and a guy who really deep in love can't be together even it has been so long?why?i really don't know..it pains me.i won't mind anything if i really love the right guy.i won't mind waiting for him,i won't mind if we can't get married and i won't mind he's not rich not good looking.i won't mind if he was unable to give me a status if he really don't have the ability.so as long i can stay with and give him what i have and what i can..is really good enough and contented..

updates

time for my update!today, i went to my workplace for attire fitting.i was glad that my boss was able to accept me to come back and work.yeahs!!in fact, i was really greatful that i can work for what i want as i really don't like to ask money from my family.i feel that we must have backbone and never bow down to anyone.my colleagues was shocked initially when i came today but after that, they smiled at me and happily asked me if i was doing fine..haha!but my boss was hoping that i can work everyday.yes i wished i can but for now, i have danceworks and clubcrawl and this are really very hectic for me.hence, i told him that i can work for anytime after march.but i was really contented to go back to here,grand hyatt hotel.thanks god and my friend jalini giving me this job.i will really work very hard!besides that, yesterday,st james power station suddenly called me to perform a salsa and latin dance for them!haha! but i rejected their offer!yes i love dancing but it really depends on where it is.Not means that that type of place is prohibited but honestly, i never stepped into a club in my whole life till now!ãnd i also respected my aunt advice of not going to such places.Therefore, i just kindly rejected them.well,i just don't know why there is a tinge of sadness came to me.i was wondering and pounding about my studies..results was going to be out soon.recapping what has happened, i finished 3 of my biology exam papers within 30 mins.was it a good thing or a bad one?it was worrying..because i don't want to score badly just like semester 1.i ound myself a failure.seriously, i was asking myself,what have i achieved?what have got for myself?is like..nothing,nothing at all.sigh..really a flop isabelle..my aunt gave me this name because she was inspired by her friend also named isabelle was a great botanist.but me, what am i?!this is depressing..i'm really failing myself..i'm not successful,i'm not smart or even pretty..i really hope to be like her, isabelle..now what i always do now was to pray to god and told him all about my worries and my thoughts.hopefully, he will understand.i'm sorry god if i can't accomplished what i have promise to you.but i will try my best because is my promise to you.some of the things i know, you have given to me and i really greatful and happy.but i'm working hard on some impossible missions.i wish i can get for what i reap.but my aunt toldme not to be overly ambitious and greedy and i sincerely listened to her advices.elders always give advices which come form their heart.hence, it is wise to heed it or else you will suffer.How true it is.well, i shall stop here and hopefully i can really get what i expected for myself.that will be good enough..

updates

well, i shall not put any title on this post once more..haha!guess what, due to yesterday learning of regaee and locking, my aps are really in deep pain now..plus this morning steneous excercise and training of my latin..ouch!!i feel like tired and beat..not only that, i feel like dying too!oh man!!this is really killing me softly!!after that, i still meet my friends too at douby ghaut and walked to smu university for lunch and some board games..it was quite fun actually.haha! i enjoyed myself but i kept dozing off...that was rude..but i don'tmean it..feel so sorry about this..hahah!then i went back home with jun kai,alex and zi qin.zi qin was having a terrible sinus and his nose was as red as a rudolf reindeer!haha!no offence zi qin!!haha!well i shall make it a short one..cos my energy was really low now..and i can't hang on already..i really want to have someone's shoulder to lean on and hug on..

Dance!!

Updates!! Now,in meantime preparing for danceworks,foreign bodies are planning for clubcrawl!!wow! can't imagine the very first fb t shirt we will recieving!!getting a bit excited but....bear in mind,studies comes 1st!!yes!!definitely!!today, i really got the chance to get 1 of the senior,mike to teach us locking!!i really enjoyed it and i was happy that i grasped the basics quite fast and immediately!!but of cos,there are more to come..hahaha!i will be waiting to learn more because i really love locking and wants to get specialised in this!!besides, i have also learnt regaee!!ha! that's the most hardest part!! my waves and hands still need more coordiantion!!hahah!but at least, i managed to get the basics right and techniques too!!then,to add on,i spent the whole morning with jennifer and her primary school friend,le xuan!!haha! talk about that, i never know i can click so well with le xuan!!wow man, we talked about korea guys shinee!!hahaha! her husband!!just joking then..hahahah!we really talked non stop!!from the time i met her in library till the time i need to went to nyp..hahah!but as for jen..actually, today i was quite a bit sad for her..cos when le xuan went to the restroom, she immediately breakdown in front of me,telling me that her aunt may pass away anytime..my heart really sank to the bottomless pit..but i hold back my emotions as there are people around..so i hereby prayed hard that her aunt will live long..please!!don't give jen so much misery!!she had enough!!she had enough!!hope god may bless her!!isabelle will always be with you jen!!okies..my body was aching like mad now..shall stop here!!

updates

back to my updates!! well as usual, i have dance practice for everyday from now on till after my danceworks.haha! it is really tiring..but i feel that i have learn a lot form here.i don't have hip hop background so compared to my dancemates, i was quite lose out.so i have to work more harder than other people.Now, i really yearn to learn locking.hopefully,within this month,i can learn at least the basics of locking.now,although our cheoreo was quite slow,but i believe my group will definitely do very well as we have such a good cheroegraphers!!Jiayous!!we can do it!!although we are slow, but slow can make things better!!agreed?haha!just don't understand why my steps still don't show well..i feel so sad about it..but never mind, i'm going to improve and keep practising it!!had a good time dancing today and i met leela!haha! and we had dinner together and we talked a lot too!!well, that all for today updates!i'm really quite tired now.oh ya, by the way, this guy,jason has managed to change for the better.he has managed to self control himself after i had talked to him so many times.but when he confessed to me, i did not accept him and did not meet him.because i will never fall in love with other guys..

updates

well for now, i shall not put any subheadings for my entry..haha!this whole month shall be my most busiest month till school reopens!! of course is none other than my dancing!!haha!but of course part time too!but i think my part time job shall start the following week! so i have to catch up my time with friends too! it has been so long that i have seen them!my ite classmates which is my usual gang!!haha!miss them so much!!ahhhh!! i'm so frustrated today because i keep forgetting my steps and cheoreo!!bella isabelle!!how could you!!how could you be so lousy!!ahhhhhhh!! my brain is really so lousy man!!concentrate please!!hence, no way i will let myself to drop!i must practise till everything is ok!!i'm not going to give up!!yea!!jiayous isabelle!!okies! i'm so worn out now..but i will not let it cause my downfall!!

misses...

heys!back to updates!! well, i finally can have fun with my friends,pat,yi qing and 2 of their classmates,yi xian and wee ling!!wow!! i really enjoyed this outing because it has been a long time ever since we met up!! we went for bowling at kallang bowling centre!! hey you know, that is the very first time i have stepped into bowling centre and first time have a feel of how bowling really likes..hahahah! i'm so xua gu!!hahahhaah!but it is my first time!!as i have never played bowling before in all my 20 years of life??hahahahah! actually we did planned for ice skating but when we saw the price....oh man!!the $$$$...forget it then..hahahahha!but i really have a good experience of taking the bowling ball and it is really heavy and i was like carrying a watermelon!!haha! but strangely is, i never know i scored quite moderately..as i just followed how the bowlers played.but we really enjoyed this game!woohoo!!after bowling, we went for lunch cum dinner. we went to the japanese restaurant for buffet!Guess what? we ate quite a lot that we felt so bloated!!but the food were indeed delicious and worth it after all!!then after that, we went home but yi qing asked me to tag along with her to tampines mall for shopping of her cosmetics..hahah! and i got a membership card as she bought the amount exceeded the requirements!!haha!so we talked a lot regarding about relationships.she asked me how's relationship with this guy ,sean.In fact, i had never had a relationship at all.as guys walked away from me when it's near to getting into it.it's kind of sad but well that's really me.i'm just not suitable to have a bf after all.guys just treat me like a jinx.never want to be with me.but i can understand because, they will never want to be a girl who just lives in the world of dancing and studying.boring girl..that what they might be thinking.haha! but i was not upset after all but i just felt lost initially..actually, when this guy date me out, although physically i'm beside him but my heart is somewhere else.i realised i just can't lay my heart on him.i can't.seriously..i can't accept another guy again.hence, i stay single and i found that it was a release to me..and now studies and dance shall be my everything!! competition coming!belle!!jiayous!! or bella la!hahahahah!

Holidays!!

heys! it's has been ages since i have updated my blog..haha!because i have exams to handle..talk about that, i really hope this time round, i can really do well and i really want to!!hopefully can!well, it's holidays! but is not holidays for me after all.why do i say that?Aiya, dance copetition coming and performances coming up too.hence,i can't avoid training and practising..hahaha! Not only that, i also have to work part time for my own allowance.And, i really need money!!money!money!aww...i really desparate for you!!i want to buy this shoes which i had seen at this particular shoe shop and this clothes and this and that...ahhhh!! money still speaks the loudest!!MONEY!!haha!okay enough of money!that makes me sound like i'm so money minded..well, all this time, i really got sick and tired of these guys coming to me and sweet talked to me how much they love me, how much they want to get me..CRAP!!all is bullshiting!!that what i want to say!! what love relationships?!that is crap!!so what if they got me? in the end, they will just completely ignore me and just walked out of me.Okay! i had enough of their nonsense!!what communication breakdown?lame excuses!He might as well just say i don't love you!!that will be the best to let me know!to save his breath..hhaha!Now i shall really enjoy my singlehood!!to me, what i really hope is to find a guy who actually really knows how to love me and knows what i really want..i don't expect so much but to hope they know my existence and really loves me a lot..anyway i really thank my few of my friends who showed concern for me when i was terribly sick and lost..i really feel touched!!thanks hazi , zee,fiona and faz who gave the confidence that i'm capable to achieve!!zhennan too!!samuel wishes too!i heard of somethings which i find quite true..if a guy still loves you, he will come to you eventually..how true it is..but a girl although they said they don't love you, never believe thses words, because, they still loves you more than you do..